8/30/2010

This was different
for I kept no company
but it did not deter me
Alone with my sentiments,
the blatant preoccupations,
and trying to meet them
on neutral ground
Hopeful with the notion
it'd lend some perspective

I'd labored for hours,
my mind racing, yet
reaching no end-lines,
when I stopped to rest
at a familiar viewpoint
Expecting clarity
and realizing none,
I labored some more
until I'd scaled it all
and could go no higher
I sat there for a while
wearing a vulnerable grin
and considered what next

Nothing moved,
no comparisons to be made,
so time did not exist
There was only to offer
my most honest exclamation
and I cast it out
as heartily as I could,
just hoping you'd hear it,
but all that returned
was my echo

Ultimatum

All's familiar
now that I'm awake
Smelled the same
a few months back,
just before the dream
It was then,
I granted the ultimatum
I'd make it happen
or I'd leave
And I fell asleep
Dreamed of lavender,
fields and flavors
Silence and laughter
But now that I'm awake,
I guess there's this
I'll do the latter

Moving

I'd never seen eyes so honest,
bordered by sun-flecked cheeks
and a brow so delicately arched
I was welling up with it then,
felt the gap between growing
So I drew in and held you closer,
pressed my cheek against yours,
couldn't tell if it was real
until I felt a single tear
run down your nose, and onto mine
gently streaming across my face
I wanted so badly to be closer
but there was no space to fill
Even now, I feel it intensely
the ebb and flow of blood,
the swelling in my chest
whenever I see your face
Yet now the miles are so many,
separating, and make no mistake,
I know you needed to move on
in more ways than one

An Oak

Never had his knees weakened,
or buckled under pressure
His stomach never hollow with anxiety,
and he never lost his appetite
Told himself he was an oak,
never to be uprooted,
and he came to believe it

I don't feel cold...

Goddamn these goosebumps
I don't feel cold
And why these chills?
I swear, I'm not cold

Arizona

In an unexpected way
it came back to me
and I was there
The desert sun at my back
subtly, slowly searing
Perspiration every pore
and the fine, pale dirt,
conjured each footstep anew,
clinging to the liquid beads
One could see it,
the heat rising from stone
creating liquid trails
in the sun-bleached air
I came to the fence
bordered by creosote shade,
collapsed there willingly
with my water used up
I couldn't say how long,
but I must have slept
Quietly contemplating death
and deciding I was too weak
to fend him off
But something changed in me,
though I know not what,
for in an instant I rose
and rejected that space